Captain Terdy's First Week: Day 3


“Good morning all,” said Captain Terdy at her oh-six-hundred-hour parade. “Yesterday’s exercise was a good first attempt, however I think we can do better. Response to battle stations was sloppy. Probing was slow, shields were at half power and no-one noticed. Gunners, I want quicker response to fire orders. This morning, we will do it again. Same exercise, except this time with two less crew. I and Ensign De’Lusional will stand down. Lieutenant Ramrod, you will be in command. If the exercise goes well, I will declare the afternoon recreational time. Are there any questions?”
“Ma’am!” said Gunner Solid.
“Yes Solid?”
“Ma’am, how can it be the same exercise if there are two less crew?”
“You will have to adapt, Solid.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Very good. Dismissed. Ensign De’Lusional, please join me in my cabin.”
He followed her, watching her perfect behind and legs the whole way.
“Well Casanova - may I call you that in private?”
“Yes, of course Captain.”
“Thank you. Please call me Yes. It’s my middle name. So Casanova, if we step outside that door, the ship’s computer will sound the intruder alert.”
“Really? Why is that Cap… er… Yes.”
“Because of this.” She took two pairs of boards from her desk and handed them to him. They had adhesion spots on the back and had writing in large friendly letters on the front, “Hi! I’m an unidentified xenomorph.”
“I thought I’d add a bit of spice to today’s exercise. I’m basing it on the original Xanta encounter. Do you know it?”
“Ah,” he racked his brains. Xanta were the source of humanity’s second generation supra-light technology. “Sorry Yes, my memory is not what it should be.”
“Tell me about it,” she said sitting in one of her visitor chairs. “I’m quite worried the Vroomzeons have made some sort of mistake.”
“Oh yeah,” he grinned sitting with her, “it’s pretty amazing how you don’t know about sex. Personally I love it. My compliments to your creator. You’re the best captain I could possibly imagine.”
“Oh, well, thank you very much Casanova. It’s very nice of you to say so. Ah, but, aren’t you concerned that I might not know something important?”
“Well, we all don’t know things Yes. You not knowing about sex is kind of sexy.”
She looked at him, trying to parse that sentence. It didn’t make sense no matter how she construed it. “Casanova, what is sex?”
Casanova smiled knowingly. “Sex is what we did Captain. Fucking, also known as intercourse. Although, intercourse is one specific thing. Sex is a broader term.”
Captain Terdy closed her eyes and tried to replay the conversation with Ramrod. He was quite a satisfactory Lieutenant in a mechanical way, she would quite like to do the fucking thing with him, but he damn didn’t answer her questions in plain language like Casanova. “So Casanova, please explain to me what is meant by the term ‘inappropriate sexual activity’?”
“Oh, that’s headquarters speak ma’am. There’s kind of a new fashion prudishness going round the Federation, so HQ feels they have to be seen to be doing something. It doesn’t really mean anything, because sex is strictly recreational. They’re not talking about consensual sex between adults,” said Casanova happily. This was very cathartic. He hated the new prudity so much.
“Ok. Now explain prudishness.”
“That’s when people disapprove of sex, it’s… like, um… I don’t know, racism or something. People get together and start believing something is bad with no rational basis. I mean, sex can’t really be bad. We wouldn’t be here without it.”
“Really? What has sex got to do with our mission?”
“No, no, nothing. I didn’t mean here on this ship, I mean the entire human race wouldn’t be here. Er…” Casanova paused. “Um, Captain, you do know where babies come from?”
The captain thought, then waved her hand in the air, “Wait, wait, I’ve got this… do they… get delivered? By a big bird?”
It was a race between the explosive laughter heading for Casanova’s mouth, and his naval training. The training won by a hair and he clamped his teeth down in time to reduce it to strangled gasp.
“Is that wrong? That’s wrong isn’t it,” said the captain suddenly feeling very insecure.
“Yes, I’m afraid that’s wrong.” Casanova took a deep breath. “Captain, would you like me to explain to you all about the birds and the bees? I think you may be more comfortable knowing about this stuff.”
“The birds and the bees?”
“It’s a phrase that means sex, without saying the word.”
Captain Terdy let out a heartfelt sigh. “Yes Casanova, I think that would be a very good idea. It may avoid a lot of confusion.”
The ship’s alarms sounded. Whoop whoop whoop “Proximity alert,” came the soft contralto. “This is a drill.” Whoop whoop whoop. “Proximity alert. This is a drill.”
“Ah,” said the captain. “That’s the exercise starting.”
The alarms stopped.
“Right. Tell me about sex,” said the captain.
Casanova blinked. It was kind of surreal hearing that come out of the mouth of this eleven-rated Va Va babe. “Ok. Where to start?” He turned his chair to face her. “Right Captain. I mean Yes. Do you know about evolution?”
“Oh yes. I believe so. Unstable local optimization of species through variant propagation.”
“Right. Do you know about DNA and stuff?”
“Yes. Genes. Basis of life on Earth. Quite a lot of aliens too.”
“Right, right, good. Now, do you know about reproduction by asymmetric two gamete genetic recombination?”
“Um, yes. This is all basic biology isn’t it?”
“Yes! This is great. We’re almost there. Now, in asymmetric two gamete genetic recombination, do you know where the gametes come from?”
“Well, er, I guess they are cells of two different organisms of the same species. Otherwise there’d be no point.”
“Right. Ok. Here’s the big issue, in humans, for instance, there are two types of humans, one that produces one form of the gamete, the egg, and one that produces the other, a sperm. When they come together they form a zygote, and one of the types of human can hold it inside themselves and let it grow into a baby. Then the person releases the baby, and we’re done, new human!”
“Ok. I can see that. So…” she stopped suddenly and her eyes went wide. She grabbed his knees. “Oh my god! It’s men and women isn’t it! That’s the asymmetry! It’s all about reproduction!”
“Yes! You got it!”
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She jumped up and paced. “Right, right. So you’re a man, and I’m a woman. Which one of us hosts the baby?”
“You do.”
“Me? Really? Right. So you lay an egg, and I put it in me.”
“No. It’s the other way around. It’s not like a hen’s egg.”
“Oh, right. So… how…?”
“So I put my hard dick in your cunt and we get really excited and I eject sperm into you and it fertilizes your egg, which is the whole asymmetric two gamete genetic recombination thing, then it grows into a baby and it comes out the same way the sperm went in. Easy.”
She looked wild eyed. She put her hands in her hair. “Of course! It all makes sense! That’s why you have a penis like a stick and I have a cunt like a hole. Oh, wait, does that mean I’m going to have a baby?” She lifted her dress and pulled her panties out, looking to see if anything was there.
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“No, you’re not.” Casanova took a deep breath. It was like filling a vacuum. “This whole baby thing is important, but it’s not the main issue. That’s all ancient history that went the way of body hair. In modern times sex doesn’t get you pregnant - that’s when you have a baby in you - until you arrange for it first. These days sex is all recreational. In fact I would go so far as to say sex is the apex recreational activity of humans.”
“Recreational…” she said carefully considering the implications. “Yes, you said that before. So… does that mean I could have been doing fucking this whole time? Oh dear, I feel like such fool. What must the crew think of me?”
“Ah, I think the crew are fine with you. You don’t want to rush in. There’s a whole world of fun. It’s not just sex. You see, you have to work your way up to it. First you have to be attracted to someone, then you have to attract them.”
“Attract?”
“Like… trigger their basic instinct to want to mate with you. You see, you’re a woman, so when I look at you, all the things that indicate you’re a woman kind of resonate with me.” He stood up and faced her, placing his hands on her hips. “So, like, your slim waist compared to your hips.” He slid his hands up, “and the way it flares out again,” he moved his hands to cup her breasts, “and your breasts, they’re such a turn on.” He was getting a huge hard-on. This was such forbidden territory, feeling up the captain. He couldn’t imagine ever doing anything like this in real life. He gently fondled her breasts and was rewarded with very distinct nipples.
“Hmm,” she said, “I see. That feels good, and I want to give you a fuck.”
“Right. Good. That’s good. It’s not only by touching. Men are pretty visual. They get turned on just by the way a woman looks, the way she dresses, or the way she moves. Anything that tells their hindbrain that you are a healthy woman with good reproductive potential.”
She put her hands on his chest. “Right. I can see that makes sense. And I’m attracted to men who I think can fuck with me. I’ve definitely been feeling that.” Captain Terdy had thought about that a lot. She’d thought about how it had felt to have Casanova’s hard cock in her cunt, then mentally put that feeling alongside each man on board. “I think I’m attracted to all of them.”
“Er, um, good, you’re getting it.” He kept fondling her breasts. They were amazing. His hard-on was iron-hard now. “Um, so where were we. Right, so you need to build attraction, which is good, however then you need to move up a level and build arousal.”
“Arousal…” she said carefully. Her eyes were starting to look heavy and her breathing becoming deep. “Like waking up?”
“Sort of. When my dick gets hard, that’s arousal. It’s kind of a physiological emotional feedback loop. It happens to you too. Erectile tissue, like I have in my dick, you also have in your cunt and nipples. It gets turgid and firm. It feels really nice when it gets touched.”
She looked down at where he was gently moving her breasts. Her nipples were plainly visible.
Casanova gave them some gentle pushes and a little pinch.
“Oh,” she said softly.
“Would you like to take your uniform off so I can show you properly?”
“Yes, of course.” She pulled the stretchy fabric off over her head. She was wearing a very boring bra and panties. She discarded both of them quickly.
“Oh my god,” said Casanova, stepping back. The bra had done everything it could to disguise the absolute perfection of her breasts. They were full and rounded, clearly weighty without drooping. The flesh, all her flesh, was the most perfect smooth blemish free pale skin. She was clearly fit without being muscled. She stood with the easy confident posture that only a twenty-year-old starship captain with three lifetimes of experience could have.
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Casanova was almost ashamed to touch her, she was so heavenly beautiful. Almost. “Here,” he said sitting down. “Sit on my lap.”
She sat across his knees and put an arm around him.
Casanova put one arm round her waist and the other on her thigh. His hands seem to burn where they touched her. So soft and warm, so silky smooth and pliant, so forbidden. “Ok,” he said with slightly shaky breath. “See how this feels to you.” He gently put a finger to a nipple and softly flexed it round. Giving it barely a tickle and a nudge.
“Yes, I can feel that,” she said. “It is nice, you’re right.”
Casanova noticed the subtle flexing of her hips, the telltale curling of her toes. He went a fraction more firm. A tiny soft pinch. A little pull.
“Oh, hmm. Can you do the other one too?”
She was definitely squirming. “I can, but you know, touching with lips and tongue is considered very intimate. It’s a demonstration of close bonding. It can be very arousing.” He bent his head ever so slightly and kissed her nearer nipple, then the same gentle movements as before, but with his tongue, then very little sucking kisses. All the while keeping the other gently stimulated.
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He looked up. “How’s that?”
“Oh…” she was looking dreamy, “that’s very nice thank you. Do we fuck now? I want to fuck quite badly. I think I must be aroused.”
“Let me show you something else first. Spread your legs a little.” He pulled one thigh towards himself and she moved the other. “Ok, now look down here.”
She had to hold her breasts to see.
Casanova very gently pulled one of her lips aside revealing her moist clit. It caused a slight shudder. “Do you see that little thing? Just above where you pee from. When you’re aroused it has an important function.”
Captain Terdy was fascinated. In all of her three days she’d never noticed it. “What function?”
“To feel good.” He ever so gently nudged it, then wiggled it a little, watching her reaction.
“Oh… oh my…”
He could see it was working.
“But,” she said, “is that… ooh… is that really its function? I mean, why?”
“Well, so you feel good. I guess all the people who didn’t feel good didn’t fuck and are dead without babies. So yeah, it’s function is just to feel good. Like my dick when it’s erect.”
“Oh, wow, that makes so much sense.” Actually, Captain Terdy would have thought breathing vacuum made sense at this point. The flood of euphoric feelings as Casanova picked up the pace had turned off her rational processes and turned on her moist emanations. She released her breasts and just sat with her legs open while Casanova touched her… “What’s it called?” she asked softly.
“Your clit, or clitoris.”
“Oh. It feels good.” She pushed her breast towards Casanova’s lips in the hope he would do some more. He did. She watched as he pulled and sucked on her nipple. It was amazing. He looked up.
“People kiss too,” he said. “It’s a demonstration of intimacy. It can be quite arousing too.” He pulled her head down slightly and met her lips, sliding his tongue in. She gave a soft “mmm” and her tongue pushed into his mouth. He worked her clit harder. She gripped his head and plunged her tongue in and mashed her lips to his. It was a little artless but extremely passionate. He could feel her body heaving, her legs pushing apart. She broke away.
“I’m sure I’m aroused. Can we fuck? How do I get you aroused?”
“Oh, I’m aroused, but step by step. Here, come and sit on your desk.” He directed her to place her beautiful rear cheeks on the edge of her desk while he sat in her chair. “Now, relax and lift and spread your legs.”
She lay back on her elbows and watched him with parted lips over her heaving breasts.
Casanova admired her pussy. It was beautiful and smelled divine. He very gently slipped a finger into her vagina and massaged softly, getting a feel for her g-spot, then bent and applied his tongue to her clit. Gentle pressing licks.
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“Oh!” she gasped. She fell back completely. “Oh my! It’s… oh… It’s amazingly good… It’s…” her voice trailed off as she turned her head to the side and an expression of concentration came over her face.
Casanova let himself get lost in her heavenly thighs. Little shocks occasionally ran through her, her legs twitching, her torso jerking. He could hear her breath coming in deep draughts. He felt a wave of tension wash through her body then subside. He kept a steady pace until he felt the next wave rising then increased the pace as it peaked. On the third one he escalated his firmness and insistence as her body jerked and her breath became ragged, then she gasped loudly.
“Ogh! Ahhh.” she orgasmed in mind blowing ecstasy as Casanova licked and poked her cunt. Great sheets of feeling washed through her body, making her shake and moan. It went on and on and he didn’t stop. She tried to grab his head to push it down harder but her arms just flailed, her legs jerked and shuddered. “Mmmm… ah!” she exclaimed tensely.
“Oh wow,” she said as she regained some control of her voice. “Oh orgasm.”
Casanova backed off her clit, but continued to work gently, slowly bringing her arousal level back up.
“Oh,” she said, still panting, “I can see why this is the apex recreational activity. I can’t believe I wasted three days not knowing about this. Can we still fuck? Even though I’ve had an orgasm? Do I need to arouse you?”
Casanova sat back. “Sure, I’m quite aroused already.”
She sat up, “can I see?” she said eagerly.
Casanova stood and pulled off his top, then discarded his boots and trousers, finally standing proudly before her. She immediately grabbed his big erect cock. “It feels nice when you touch it while it’s hard. Some women like to use their mouth on it. You call it a blow-job or sucking dick, but you never blow, and you don’t have to always suck.”
She slipped off the desk and knelt at his cock, examining it closely. “What are these?” she said playing with his balls.
“They are my balls, that’s where my sperm comes from.”
“Oh, hello sperm,” she said to them playfully, “do you want to get into my cunt?” She looked up. “How do I do a blow-job?”
“Well, you can start by putting it in your mouth and just sucking and using your tongue. But no teeth.”
“Ok,” she said, then slipped her lips over it.
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Casanova watched and his hips thrust forward involuntarily. She was unbelievably hot. She did an amazing job for a neophyte. Lots of wet tongue feeling all over his head. He moaned a little, “oh, fuck that’s good.”
She pulled off and looked up again. “Is it like when you licked me? What’s that called?”
“Eating you. I think yeah, it’s similar I expect, but your clit is smaller, so it’s more concentrated.”
“Eating? Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“Wow. Does all of it feel good?” she asked while she stroked the shaft.
“Yeah, but the head in particular is the most sensitive part. Oh, it’s also called giving head.”
“Ok.” She went back to sucking, now glancing up to see his reaction.
“Yeah, that’s great. It feels really good.”
She went at it for a while, experimenting and seeing his reaction.
She thought it was quite a lot of fun, knowing the sort of feelings it was invoking. It was arousing her a lot too. She could recognize that now. She especially liked the feel of the head in her mouth. Like it belonged there. She remembered how it had felt to have it slide into her cunt. That was a bit like being eaten, being given head, but different. She let it out. “If I keep doing this, will you orgasm like I did when you ate me?”
“Probably, but let’s not go that far. Men get un-aroused when they come. For a minute or so. They say it was much worse before the Hottening. I’ve heard it could take over ten minutes for the average man to get aroused again. I’m not sure I believe that. Anyway, let’s fuck first.”
“Come?”
“Orgasm.”
“Oh. Right!” she just realized what he’d said about fucking. She stood up enthusiastically, still holding and gently manipulating his head.
“There are lots of ways to fuck,” he said, cupping her breasts again. “You can do it standing, sitting, kneeling, lying, frontwards, backwards, sideways, almost anything.”
“Oh, I had assumed you just do it the way we did it.”
“No, not at all. That’s just one way. Seeing as last time you were on top, let’s start with the most traditional way. This way I do most of the work.”
“Ok,” she said eagerly.
“Lie on your back on your bed, and spread your legs.” She flopped down. He’d rarely seen a woman spread with such eager enthusiasm. She wore a huge anticipatory smile. Her breasts jiggled delightfully into perfect domes. His cock tensed at the sight. She was incredible. Her hips were already gyrating slightly in what had to be completely instinctual motion. He knelt on the bed between her legs and took his own cock in his hand, rubbing the head over her clit. Her hips pushed up and down and she “mmmmed”. He pushed down and watched one of his favorite sights - his cock head slowly pushing into an eager wet vagina.
“Oooh,” she said, “yes, in, in.”
He pushed in with a series of short backwards retreats to get everything nice and slick. She was incredibly tight. He could feel every inch of her gripping slickly to his shaft.
The captain, for her part, closed her eyes and focused totally on the feel of his head making its way deep into her. Even though he’d told her she wouldn’t get pregnant, she couldn’t help but imagine the eager sperm wanting to join with her egg. It turned her on, the primitive necessity of it. This was what being a human was about - a big cock thrusting into her and releasing its sperm. The feelings she’d felt before, when she rode his cock with Dr Prominent, were there again. Different from being eaten. The same warm spreading ecstasy, but also wholesome feelings of fulfillment. Casanova began slow rhythmic piston-like motions. They were mind blowing. Her whole body was tingling. Then he leant forward and kissed her breast. She moaned and ran her hands through his hair. He took a nipple in his mouth and played with it. “Oh fuck yes Casanova,” she mumbled, remembering the traditional response. “I like this, I really really like this.” He transferred to her other nipple. “Oh yes, so much yes.” His cock was still making her cunt boil with pleasure. It was the primary source, with a pleasure boost provided by his tongue on her nipples. Casanova straightened out so that his head came right up beside hers, with his weight on his elbows. She held his manly body. It was like he’d said, but mirrored, all the manliness of his form was talking to her. The feel of his strong hips pushing his cock in deep penetrations between her spread legs. It just felt so right and natural. She ran her arms over his warm flesh and willed him to go harder.
Casanova was lost in her melting form. He held her and nuzzled her neck then raised his head and kissed her. She reacted instantly with thrusting tongue and a hand on the back of his head pulling him into her lips. Their tongues twined and combined. He loved this. He liked missionary position when the girl was into kissing. The captain seemed especially eager. He slowly increased the pace, letting his instincts guide him. Feeling his hard cock wetly exploring her depths. She moaned and pulled herself up to him.
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She broke their kiss.
“Oh fuck!” she said tensely, “I love it! It’s so good!” she shuddered. “Oh, is it good for you? Ohg! Wow! Does it feel the same?”
“Yes, yes,” he responded. “Fucking fantastic. Are you ready?”
“Ready for what?”
He went hard, thrusting deep, solidly and fast.
“ARGH! YES!… ARGH!”
He beat his cock into her as she clawed at his back and moaned in ecstasy. He was going to come if he kept this up. He slowed a little, giving himself and her time to get some breath, then built up the thrusts again to the same extreme level. She cried out and writhed as she gripped him. Her body was hot and becoming slick with sweat. He slowed one more time, just for a little, then brought up his thrust to pile driving level. She cried out one more time, then she was coming. He felt the change in her body, her head turning hard into his neck, her muscles tensing, her breath stopped, then huge convulsive shudders and a groan dragged from the depths of her throat. Her cunt gripped his cock like it was squeezing the life out of it. It was the last straw. His boiling need rose through his balls, his body tensed, ecstasy gathered from all over his groin, and focused in a huge release into her. “ARGH! FUCK!” he cried as the first pump came. She gasped and grabbed his head, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. He ejaculated into her orgasming body while their tongues slid past one another, her writhing body and his pumping cock filling his mind. She seemed to go on forever, her body twitching with tremors and shakes while he emptied then just kept thrusting as best he could. He began to soften, but before he knew it, he could feel his rigid hardness returning.
The captain panted and melted under him, “That’s absolutely wonderful,” she said. “Are you not aroused now?”
“Actually, I’m pretty good already. That’s because you’re so fucking hot.” He pulled out and sat back, “here, roll over. All fours.”
She rolled over and rested on her arms and knees. “Like this?”
“Yes.” He spread her legs a little.
“Oh, I get it,” she said looking over her shoulder.
He waddled up and slipped his cock in. She immediately started working herself on it. Her athletic body seemingly having arbitrary stamina.
“Ooh. I really like having a cock in me,” she said. “What does hot mean in this context?”
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“Attractive to members of the opposite sex.”
“Oh, I am?”
“Yes,” he said emphatically.
“Oh. Well I think you’re fucking hot too.”
“Thank you.”
She thrust her cunt down and back on his cock. It felt fantastic. She lowered herself to her elbows so she could get more freedom of motion. His cock rubbed wonderfully in her. Pretty soon she felt the feelings rising. They were coming more quickly than before. “Oh fuck, it’s good. I think I might orgasm again.” She just heard a grunt from behind her, so she went harder and faster like Casanova had with her. It felt glorious. She didn’t hold back, faster and harder. She took her weight on her toes as the only way she could get the speed she craved. Then it came. Rushing over her. The great wave of burning pleasure. “Ogh! YES! FUCK!” She couldn’t keep up the motion, but Casanova came to her rescue, wrapping an arm round her hips and thrusting hard and fast as she lost all control. “FUCK!” she cried as the heavenly floods took her.” Ogh, yes, so… ogh fuck.” She rode the feeling for minutes, then couldn’t help the shakes and spasms as Casanova slowed down. But he didn’t stop. He kept going and soon she felt it coming back for more. “Yes! Again!” she cried. “Fuck me Casanova! Make me come again!” He did. He beat his huge cock into her like a pneumatic driver and she shrieked as the orgasm hit her. She felt consumed by the series of orgasms. Like her life was one huge all-consuming fire of ecstasy. She just wanted this cock, any cock, all the cocks, to hammer her cunt. “YES! FUCK!” The feelings electrified every nerve in her body, her eyes screwed shut and her mouth gaped open but the only noises to escape were choking sounds as all the muscles in her body tensed and her mind finally blew its safety fuses.
Casanova felt her go limp and slowed to a gentle thrust.
“Wah…” she said after a second. “Oh, that was quite intense.”
“Yeah, do you want a break?” he asked as his slow little motions continued. He admired her violin form.
She looked over her shoulder, “There are more positions aren’t there?” she said eagerly.
He smiled at her. “Yes.” He slipped out and off the bed. “Come over here.” He sat in her chair. “Now, sit facing me on my lap and take my dick that way. This is called cowgirl.” She did as requested, giving a heartfelt sigh as she took his cock again. She was still tight-as.
“Ooh ahh. It’s so nice when your cock is in me. What were the other positions called?” She moved on his cock. Rising and falling. This was a bit like the first time, but now Casanova was feeling her breasts and kissing them.
“Missionary and doggy.”
“Right.”
“This is one of my favorites because I get to play with your breasts.”
She continued to gently ride up and down. She didn’t feel such urgency to rush to orgasm now. More a contented glow. “Yeah, I agree. I like it when you touch my nipples.”
He molested her breasts by way of answer. He could hardly believe how wonderful she felt. Her skin slid under his lips like warm velvet. Her nipples were proud and she responded to every nip with gasps and vaginal squeezes.
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“Ooh, yes,” she muttered. “Oh, why do they say Va Va are ‘practically prudish in every way’? I heard Private Wunderlick saying it. It’s true isn’t it, people say that. Even I remember that phrase is true, and I didn’t know what prudish meant.”
She was undulating on his cock. It was hard to concentrate on her words.
“Um. Yeah. Va Vas are made that way normally. No one’s ever heard of one having sex as far as I know.”
“What!” She stopped and looked down at him in horror. “Why?” She started moving again, even faster, as if she could wipe the affront away with more vigorous sex.
“Fuck, god that’s nice. Well, yeah, good question. Supposedly your mind is composed from real people. Oh shit. They must have found someone really prudish for that bit. It’s always the same. Other things are different. Like you have captaincy. But all Va Vas are prudes.”
Captain Terdy felt angry. The fucking was feeling so good and someone was taking that away from innocent people. “That’s wrong,” she said firmly.
Casanova looked up. He could hear the disapproval in her voice. It wasn’t just ‘that’s wrong’, it was ‘those fucking little shits’ but said captain-wise. She grabbed his head and kissed him with deep insistent tongue, but she couldn’t keep it up due to her ever more vigorous fucking. She was going crazy on his cock.
Captain Terdy was going to come again. She was angry and fucking and it felt good and she was furious and going to come hard just to show those evil Va Va Vroomzeons that she could. Making people who never did this? That… she didn’t have the words to describe how bad that seemed. They were going to see justice no matter how many orgasms she had to have to make it happen. She gripped Casanova’s shoulders, shoved her breasts in his face, and sent her hips into overdrive on his glorious cock. “FUCK YES!” she cried. “Orgasm with me Casanova!”
“Fuck yes!” She was berserk. Her amazing breasts were smooching all over his face.
“Yes, fuck me!” She said. “Fill my cunt with your sperms! OGH! I’M…” Then her eyes rolled up and euphoria took her body.
Casanova’s balls pulled up convulsively and he thrust up hard to make up for her lost coordination and came deliciously in her tightly gripping passage.
“Oh yes,” she said as she rode the feelings. “Screw those fucking dyke Vroomzeons!” Then they both collapsed.
They sat together for a long time panting with Casanova happily buried in her bosom. It was only then he remembered this wasn’t real. He’d started off knowing, but he’d got so carried away he’d totally forgotten. It was incredible. Her warm velvet skin, her smell, the slight adhesion of his cheek from her sweat. They said every space faring species had one great technology to contribute. The Ka’Krill made the interstellar comms system. The Xanta the second generation supra light drive. No one knew how they worked, apart from the Ka’Krill and the Xanta. What did humans contribute? What unfathomable technology did they give to amazed alien species? Computer based deep brain virtual gaming technology apparently. It’s true. It astounded every species they contacted. All the same, Casanova was finding it hard to take this quality level.
“Is that why no one has asked me to have sex with them? Because Va Vas are supposed to be prudes?”
“What? Oh, well, yes,” he said from his soft enclave. “But it’s more than that. You’re a captain. Captains are always on duty. You know how it is. I know you’re not really, but that’s the perception. Sex is off duty. Sex while on duty, that actually is inappropriate sexual activity. Too distracting.”
“Yes. I see. So if I tell someone I’m off duty when I ask if they would have sex with me, that might work?”
He chuckled. “You can’t just ask someone to have sex with you. There’s a whole social protocol. Some people are in exclusive one-on-one sexual relationships with someone else, so it’s inappropriate to ask them. Even if they are available, you have to build up to it. It’s that whole step by step thing. If you ask before they’re emotionally ready they’re going to say no.”
“Oh.” She had trouble understanding that. She couldn’t understand saying no. “So tell me about the social protocol. What do I do?”
“Hmm. Well, that’s where a lot of the fun is. You have to dress sexy, you can probably get some advice from the other women about that. Then you have to show interest, flirt, but only when you’re sure you’ve attracted a guy, then there’s getting the setting right. Time and place and all.”
There was the slightest of tremors through the ship. “Ah,” she said standing up. “That’ll be the warning shot. That’s our cue.” She put her sandwich board on. “Here, put these translators in your ears, they will translate everything into gibberish. Remember hand gestures and body language mean nothing to you, the Xanta are massively tenticular blob-morphs. We are peaceful and extremely inquisitive aliens. We are especially interested in engines. Let’s see if they kill us.” She headed for the door.
“Captain! Wait.”
“What is it?”
“Clothes.”
“Oh, yes, that would be normal wouldn’t it.”
“Also, I have to use the head.”
“Right, good idea. Me too.”
He peed in the small head attached to her cabin. Doing a pee didn’t always trigger an existential crisis for Casanova. But this one did. He was peeing. Completely normal. He’d done it this morning in his cabin’s head. Right here on the SCS Essex. What was suddenly giving him a free-fall feeling in his stomach, was that he couldn’t remember doing a pee on the SCS Enterprise. He couldn’t even remember if his cabin had a head. It was a surprisingly nice cabin now he came to think about it. Not the sort of thing a junior ensign normally got. He didn’t so much think the obvious, as think it couldn’t be true. He thought ‘this is a weird thought’. He thought ‘must be some serious meta confusion’. He thought ‘I can not have actually fucked a Va Va captain, so that proves it.’
***
The alarm sounded the moment they stepped out. Whoop whoop whoop “Gruig uyer guu. Yui jjuiib deeuiop.” The translator was working. All he heard was gibberish. Woop woop woop “Gruig uyer guu. Yui jjuiib deeuiop.”
“We progress that direction.” Came the double translated voice of the captain. Her translator was translating to Xanta or something, and his translating back. He followed her down the corridor toward the bridge, but it all seemed unreal. Because maybe it was real. There was shouting in gibberish. He just watched the captain’s beautiful ass and wondered if it was real.
Gunner Solid shot them with his phaser as soon as he read the sign.
Image
Fortunately, all phasers are locked on stun during exercises.
***
He woke in the medical bay. Well, a medical bay. He looked around carefully. Dr Prominent was reading at the terminal. There was only one medical bench. He cleared his throat. Dr Prominent turned around.
“Ah, Casanova, good to see you back with us,” she said.
“Oh, um, where else might I have been?”
“How do you feel?”
“Ah, fine.” He sat up.
“Good. Captain woke up straight away. Amazing recuperative powers that woman. Gunner Solid has to make a presentation to the whole crew on the Xanta encounter and its consequences. You should have seen his face. He’s terrified.”
“Oh. Right. Right. Um, Prominent, can I ask you something a little left field? It’s um, just about something I read, for a friend.”
“Sure honey,” she said sliding her hip onto the bench and putting her hand in his inner thigh.
“Um, have you ever heard of a diversion therapy device? They give them to people with psychoses I think.”
“Yes, heard of. Never dealt with.”
“Right, so I was just wondering. How like, realistic would they be? Like, is it easy to tell the difference between reality and the virtual world?”
“Well, they should be very realistic. They have a dynamic feedback mechanism. If your brain starts to feel doubt about some aspect, the virtualization will try to adapt to minimise the brain’s dissonance. You probably wouldn’t even notice it.”
“Oh,” he said weakly. Not helpful, he thought. “Um, could someone get confused? About what was real?”
“No, I doubt it. The real world is the continuation of what the patient remembered before. The diversion would be a different setting. It would be easy to tell. Anyway, they’re only used under medical supervision, so it wouldn’t be a problem.”
“Right. Right. Um, thanks doc. Um. I think I’d better go.”
“Oh, so soon? You just got here.”
She was gently stroking his leg and leaning in. He glanced at the door. It was closed. “Um, doc, I’d really love to stay, but I think I’m going to have to take a rain check.”
“Oh, pity. I was hoping we could finish up, you know, from before.” She moved closer, her breasts were touching him, her lips close.
“Um, doc, um, about before… Have you spoken to the captain?”
She sat back a bit and looked pained. “No. Are you worried she’s going to get her memories back? Is that it? We are so dead if her programmed personality surfaces.”
“Oh, yeah. That is a, um, a concern. Ah, I’d better go. I have some stuff to do.” He slipped off the bench and stumbled out, his mind churning.
Fucking hell, he thought. She thinks she’s in trouble. I basically fucked the shit out of the captain in her cabin and convinced her Space Command directives were nonsense. This can’t be the real world. It’s too strange to be real. The moment he said it he had the sinking feeling again. Truth is stranger than fiction. Fuck a duck.
***
Captain Terdy spent the afternoon studying. She read articles from the ship’s library. It was much easier now her basic hole in understanding had been plugged. It all made sense. She re-read the HQ advisories she hadn’t understood. It made her frown. She caught up on planetary current affairs. It made her very unhappy. The Ministry for Moral Turpitude? Seriously? She felt cheated. She’d only just discovered sex and everybody was talking like it was a bad thing. She read works on sexuality and relationships. She discovered pornography. That is, she discovered that pornography was sexually explicit entertainment designed to arouse erotic feelings and thus was a disgusting aberration that should be stamped out. The ship’s library had a large collection. She decided to form her own opinion. ‘Pirate Sluts of Planet Sex’, was apparently a classic from the last century. It was eye opening. She decided it was probably a mistake to watch this alone. Her pussy became soaked from arousal and had a very strong desire to be fucked. It was perhaps unfortunate, or fortunate depending on one’s point of view, that Casanova had not taught her about masturbation. She had to lie on her bed and practice deep breathing. Then she watched ‘Becky’s Big Bang’ just to be sure. After that she stood under a cold shower for a very long time. She decided she’d better not watch any more. She had more important things to think about.

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